bombing:

lara croft can definitely raid my tomb if you know what i mean. i want her to desecrate my grave and steal my valuables

bombing:

there wasn’t one goddamn anaconda in that entire video

bombing:

active-antelope:

bombing:

i’ll fist anyone who looks at me weird

Dont you mean punch?

what’s the difference

bombing:

as i lay on my deathbed surrounded by those closest to me, i beckon for my apprentice. with a slow trembling hand, i reach within the folds of my robe to pull out a small usb drive and watch as he takes it and rushes over to the laptop. inside is only one file, labeled dick.txt, containing the login information for my blog. by the time he’s done reading, i’m already gone

bombing:

one of the biggest benefits of being faceless is that it ensures continuity for this blog. no one will know when i die, a worthy successor of my choosing will just take over and continue posting, and the same will happen when they meet their demise. for all you know, there could already have been a previous owner to this blog. it’s a truly eternal brand

unclefather:

bombing:

graveyards are for holding what?

skeleton soldiers 

bombing:

babies suck at driving. just another reason i hate kids

bombing:

i want to hold your dumb hand. your idiot hand that’s incapable of critical thinking. your fucking stupid hand that can’t form one single cognitive thought 

bombing:

theweirdpart:

bombing:

lift the ban on ghostwriting. allow ghosts to write raps again

no

what the fuck

bombing:

they really do things differently here in DC

bombing:

they really do things differently here in DC

bombing:

hey Scott it’s me. i’m just emailing you to let you know how grateful i am for getting me that job. attached is a small token of my appreciation

Download Attachment:
sexey_boob.gif (387 kb)

bombing:

walk into any starbucks and say “i can’t believe they’re doing a secret screening of the unreleased Wes Anderson movie down the street” then collect all the macbooks that everyone who just ran out left behind. keep your favorite one and sell any you don’t need